Hello Humans,
Sorry for the unintended break, in all honesty I feel like I lost my spark and didn’t have anything to say. Whether this is due to seasonal depression or just this year finally catching up with me, I’m not really sure.
However I found inspiration in a poem we studied in English called “To My Nine Year Old Self” by Helen Dunmore and it made me think what would I say to my nine year old self. I am no poet but I thought I’d write a letter to nine year old Etta (wait that rhymes!! Maybe I am a poet after all)
Dear Etta,
What can I say? We’re very different people despite sharing the same genes. So much has happened to us since we left primary school, some of it good, some of it horrendous.
However I am writing to you with less than a month till our 18th birthday and let’s just say being a teenager is not as easy as Disney makes out. Don‘t worry though, there will be some amazing times that outweigh the bad and you’ll find in time the bad times have shaped you for who you are and in a strange way become grateful for them. It will take a long time to get to a place of acceptance and even now I still struggle.
My advice to you is not to wish you were older as I know you want to be, it’s not all it makes out to be and one day you might find yourself wishing you were younger (I do now). Also don’t worry so much about your SATS, they seem important but you never use them and find that your schools place not importance on them.
You’ll figure it out and one day you won‘t feel so isolated and awkward as you’ll make a group of friends where you’re not the weirdest one!!
Also, listen to music more, that’s one of my regrets is not having the love for music that I do now from an earlier age.
See you in a few years,
Etta age 17 xx
I found this exercise really emotional as I realised that at age 9 I was such a different person with different experiences and values but I also did not want to reflect on all of the bad things, because ultimately I wouldn’t be who I am now without them.
I’m going to try and find a way of having regular posts without the pressure so maybe I’ll find a timetable that works for me!! I’ll let you know when I come up with one! See you next time,
E x