Hello Humans,
Yep! You got it, I’m a perfectionist! I hold my self to impossible standards and put a ridiculous amount of pressure on myself, whether it’s homework or assessments or just general life, I am almost never happy with my efforts. So then imagine my devastation when I get my first formal assessment in A-Level Sociology back and I got a U! Luckily I was at home streaming the lesson and could mute my mic to cry about it. Once I’d read the comments I realised I’d just misunderstood the question and therefore didn’t answer it. Although I could rationalise that it was nothing to do with a lack of knowledge, I could not get past the grade. I’d never gotten a U in my life, with a C being the lowest grade I’ve ever received. I know people preach about learning curves but to me, no matter what my final grade is I will always look at this U and I will let it define my academic ability. I can rationalise the fact that I’d not wrote an essay for months due to lockdown and that it’s a new subject but to me it’s not good enough. I think that this mindset reflects how damaging the education system has the ability to be, that young people are basing their view of themselves on letters or numbers. metal health awareness is something I am a huge advocate for, and I believe the reason for such high cases of mental health issues in teenagers is due to the education system and the pressures it creates. One of the first things my English teacher told me this year was that a grade 8/9 at GCSE is barely a pass at A-Level and obviously that terrified me as the pressure was intense from day one. However, I am not a perfectionist about everything, for example my wardrobe. My bedroom is pretty tidy but my wardrobe is an absolute mess. I often joke that the state of my wardrobe reflects my metal state, but truthfully I believe that when I struggle that is reflected in how I take care of things and there is great power in shutting the mess away in the cupboard.
I don’t want to be a perfectionist about this blog, it’s purely for fun and a way to get some of my writing out into the world as journalism is a potential career route I’m interested in. See you next time,
E x